The Competition
by jumbledup925
Summary: In this two-part prequel to "Aftershocks", Amanda discovers that the end of her mystery marriage impacted more people than she imagined that it would. This story will still make sense even if you haven't read "Aftershocks".
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If you're reading this, than you know the drill. I don't own these characters, but I do enjoy continuing their adventures.

Amanda poured her freshly brewed cinnamon flavored coffee into an ice-filled tall glass. She wiped perspiration from her brow and sipped the beverage appreciatively. It was an unseasonably warm Saturday morning in September, and she unexpectedly had the house to herself. Her "boys" were at the ball field and her mother had gone away for the weekend with Captain Curt.

She could be doing something to pamper herself, or curling up with the new novel that she was dying to read if only she had the time, but no-being Amanda she'd decided to reorganize the closet and dresser drawers in their bedroom. Just thinking of what had for so long been merely her bedroom as "their room" filled her with contentment. She marveled at how much all their lives had changed in the weeks since they had put an end to the mystery marriage.

They'd spent the evening prior to their six month wedding anniversary at his apartment. He'd prepared a special dinner, but as they sat down to eat, their moods were more melancholy than celebratory.

 _"Everything is delicious," Amanda enthused. "The room looks beautiful," she continued, indicating the candles and fresh flowers that he'd strategically placed around the room. "Thank you for making this such a wonderful evening, I'm so lucky to have you in my life."_

"We're two of the luckiest people in the world. Meeting and marrying you has changed my life in so many ways. The only thing that would make me happier would be…"

 _His voice trailed off, and she couldn't help wondering if he was thinking the same thing that she was. She watched as his shoulders slumped and his eyes were clouded by the inexplicable sadness that she too felt washing over her. If he wasn't going to say it, and she was fairly certain that he wouldn't, than she would have to speak up._

 _"We made a huge mistake-getting married in secret has to be the dumbest thing that I've ever done. I've already had one long distance marriage and it failed."_

" _Hey, we don't have a long distance marriage, I'm right here," he argued half-heartedly._

"That's the whole problem, you're here, but your family lives across the bridge in Arlington. I want you with us, I don't want to settle for anything less than the fulltime husband and family man that I know you can be-that I'm pretty sure that you want to be."

" _Of course that's what I want too. I stupidly suggested keeping our marriage a secret, it seemed like the safest option at the time, but no one really believes that we aren't a couple so we really aren't protecting our family as effectively as we could be if we were together. I kept hoping that you'd see it that way also, and then you'd call me on my dumb idea the way that you'd called me on so many other bone-headed suggestions."_

 _She reached across the table and clasped his left hand._

"I'm calling you on it now, Big Fella," she whispered huskily. "Tomorrow morning we're going to figure out how to tell our family the truth."

" _Tomorrow morning? Why not now?"_

" _Because, Husband, now I can think of a more pleasurable way of celebrating our anniversary."_

Although the family had accepted their revelations with a good deal of equanimity, they were still being rocked by occasional aftershocks. It would take time for her family to get accustomed to having a man living in the house on a fulltime basis again, but since they already thought of Lee as being "practically a part of the family", they'd welcomed him with open arms. For his part, Lee was finding adjusting to living in a home with four other people trying at times, but she was impressed by his determination to adapt and fit in. With her boys growing and changing so quickly, she was relieved that they now had a fulltime father-figure that they could turn to. Joe tries to be there for their sons she mused, although the only thing that he makes a fulltime commitment to is his career. She didn't doubt that he was trying to balance family and career, but she feared that their sons would rarely be his top priority. She was grateful that he had stepped in after her shooting. The boys had truly needed him, and he'd been their anchor while she and Dotty were in California. She was drawn from her ruminations by the sound of the doorbell.

She hurried to the door and opened it, only to find the man that she'd just been thinking about standing before her.

"Hello Joe, I wasn't expecting you. Is Carrie with you," she questioned; craning her neck to look past him to where his car was parked at the curb.

"No, she's not…with me," he replied while massaging the back of his neck with his right hand.

"C'mon in," she urged. "The boys aren't home-"

"I know," he interrupted, "I spoke to Phillip last night, and he told me that Lee would be taking them to soccer practice this morning. It's you that I came to talk to."

"Oh." _He's here to talk to me, without Carrie, and knowing that the boys aren't home._

She studied him, thinking that if she didn't know him better she'd suspect that he was slightly hung-over.

"May I get you something to drink? I just made myself iced coffee, and the pot is still on if you'd prefer yours hot? Would you like to sit down?"

"Do I look as though I need a drink? Or do I look as if I've already had too many?"

"Joe, I didn't-" She tried to reply to his query as he followed her into the kitchen.

"No, I know you didn't mean to appear judgmental; I'm just hyper-sensitive, I did have more to drink than I should have." He pulled a chair out from the table and slumped into it. "I've had a tough week." _Hell, I've had a bad month. How can I compete with your new husband?_

"I'm sorry to hear that, is there anything that I can to do to help you?" She smiled warmly and sat down across the table from him.

"You could tell me what I'm doing wrong," he stated despondently.

He rubbed his eyes and successfully stifled a yawn that threatened to reveal how little sleep he'd gotten the night before.

"Excuse me? I don't think I understand what the problem is." _I can't remember ever seeing him look so defeated._

"The problem is your husband. It was bad enough when it was just the boys that were singing his praises, but now MY wife is telling me that I should be more like him. He's had practically no experience being a part of a family, yet he's acing a role that I was born to play. What am I doing wrong," he asked again, this time more plaintively.

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed this. Please stay tuned for the conclusion which will be posted as soon as real-life obligations permit.


	2. Chapter 2

Amanda shook her head imperceptibly, and Joe quickly assumed that she was refusing his request.

"You aren't going to help me," he practically moaned, his head slumping so that he was no longer meeting her scrutinizing gaze.

"I didn't say that, as a matter of fact you didn't give me a chance to say anything." _In all the years that we were married, I can't remember that he ever asked me what he was doing wrong, and yet now that we're both married to other people he's asking._

"You shook your head, so I assumed-"

"Stop! That's problem number one, you have an annoying tendency to assume that you know what someone else is thinking so you don't actually listen to what they're saying.

"Okay," he looked up and their eyes met, "what were you thinking?"

"If you must know, I was considering the irony of the situation that I find myself in. I spent the better part of a year trying to convince Lee that he didn't have any reason to feel threatened by you, and now you're here because you're-"

"I get the picture," he interjected because he feared that she was on the brink of laughter, and he simply couldn't face that prospect in his current state of despair.

"Joe, Sweetheart, _I've got to stop calling him that, it only muddies the waters._ you and I haven't truly been a couple in over a decade. We're married to other people now, I'm deeply in love with Lee, and I hope that you wouldn't have married Carrie if you didn't love her."

"Of course I love her," he answered defensively, rising from his seat and stepping away from the table. "Do you think that I married her just for the sake of having a wife? Or so that I could beat you and Lee to the punch? Honestly, Amanda, I didn't think that he'd ever marry you."

"Gee, thanks," rejoined his increasingly irritated former spouse. "You've always had a knack for doing a number on my self-esteem. I can understand why you thought that Lee wasn't marriage material but you don't really know him, and I do. Granted, he was in no rush to marry, but that isn't because he didn't respect the institution, it's because he didn't think that it was right for him."

"So you set out to change his mind?"

"No, at least not in the way that you're thinking, I learned the hard way that you can't make a man want to be married. I merely nudged him into looking at life differently…but, we aren't here to talk about him because he isn't the one with the problem-you are."

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers, he looked at her petulantly and griped, "He is my problem!"

"I don't believe that, and I doubt that you do either. I don't know what's wrong between you and Carrie, and frankly, I don't want to know…it's none of my business. But as far as our sons are concerned, your problems with them began when you chose to walk out on them."

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity to travel for the E.A.O.; there were people who were in desperate need of help."

"Help that only you could provide," the long-term single parent challenged, as her patience with him dwindled further.

"I never said that," he defended himself, even though it sounded lame to his own ears. "You and the boys could have come with me, but you wouldn't even consider the possibility."

"That's not true, and you know it, I agonized over my decision before you left for the first time, and I did what I believed was best for the boys. I've reconsidered my choice countless times over the years, and I have no regrets. Can you say the same?"

"I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you and the boys…although you clearly did just fine without me. None of you ever begged me to come back.

"You were waiting to be begged?"

Her brown eyes flashed with anger as she moved towards him so quickly that he took a step back, and swallowed hard, rapidly regretting his choice of words.

"I…I didn't really want you all to beg, but I did want to feel needed. The people that I helped over there needed me, and I felt good about the work that I was doing."

"That's number two," she advised him, poking an accusing finger in his direction. "I have to confess that I didn't see it until Jamie pointed it out to me. You were more interested in 'the good work' that you were doing than you were in the actual people that you were helping."

"That's ridiculous!"

"Is it? After you moved back to DC, Jamie repeatedly tried to get you to talk to him about the people that you lived among and their cultures, but your scant replies to him centered mostly on what you'd done for them." _I won't rub salt in his wounds by telling him that Jamie compared his responses unfavorably to the conversations that he's had with Lee about his experiences living and traveling abroad._

"I suppose I could have given him more extensive answers but he's just a lit…boy, and…maybe I didn't pay as much attention to their cultures as I might have, but I was an aid worker, not a diplomat. My work helped thousands of people."

"And the boys and I respect you for that, but that doesn't change the fact that they grew up largely without a father."

"I've tried to make it up to them since I came back. I spend as much time with them as I can. I'd be with them this morning if Phillip hadn't invited Lee to take them in my place. How do you think that made me feel?"

Amanda opened her mouth to respond, and then closed it without uttering a word. The expression on her face spoke volumes, it was a look that she generally reserved for their sons, and although he hadn't seen it recently he knew that she was growing increasingly exasperated with his behavior. _On the off chance that she hadn't already written me off for being totally self-centered, I've just painted myself as just that. How many times have I said I, my or me since I got here?_

"Please don't answer my last question, Phillip had every right to ask Lee to take him to the game…it's…well, it isn't easy for me to accept that he prefers his company to mine."

"Did Phillip tell you that he prefers Lee's company," she inquired, hoping that she might finally be getting through to him.

"No, he didn't have to, isn't it obvious-why else would he have invited Lee instead of me?"

"Maybe, it's because Lee took time away from work to go to the three Wednesday after school practices that have taken place this season."

"Phillip asked me if I could make it to those practices, and I said 'no' without giving it any thought because they were during work hours. How did Lee swing it?"

"He went in to the office earlier and didn't go out to lunch on those days to make up the time he'd be taking off. He also warned Phillip that if anything critical came up at the last minute, work would have to come first, but he'd certainly be there if he could."

"I wish that I'd thought to do that, it never crossed my mind. My father never came to any of my after school activities. He said a man's role was to support his family, and that meant working nine to five and even later than that if necessary, and I accepted that even though I didn't like it. I suppose Lee had a different experience growing up with his uncle."

Rolling her eyes in response to his observation, she replied, "That's an understatement! What do you know about Lee's childhood?"

"Very little actually-the boys told me that he was orphaned at an early age, and that he was ultimately raised by his unmarried uncle, who he doesn't have a close relationship with. That being said, since he didn't have the typical "Father Knows Best" upbringing that I did, he shouldn't be having more luck being a family man than I am."

Her head tilted slightly to the left, Amanda looked at the man with whom she'd once expected to spend the rest of her life, and wondered if she'd ever truly known where he was coming from.

"You're serious, aren't you," she demanded indignantly. "Good grief, Joe, "Father Knows Best" was a TV show; it wasn't meant to be a guide to being a good husband and dad. Jim Anderson wasn't perfect, he knew it, his family knew it, and most of the viewers could see that as well. And as for comparing the relative 'luck' that you and Lee are experiencing as family men, maybe he's having more luck because he's making a concerted effort to succeed."

"The Andersons were happy. _Move on Joe, they were fictional characters after all._ My father has been giving my mom a good life for more than forty years now; he must be doing something right. Have you ever heard any complaints from her?"

"No, I can't say that I have, but most women of her generation were raised to expect and accept certain gender-based roles that women of my generation-"

"Here it comes-"

"Stop interrupting me! Mistake number three, and it's a biggie, is that you mistakenly assume that the man, YOU, is never wrong…even when you are, and that someone else is always to blame when things don't go your way."

"I don't," he thundered, before being assailed by a wave of memories that tempered his urge to deny the truth of what she was saying. He lowered his head, took a deep breath, and then hesitantly looked up and met her gaze.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Thanks for being honest. And for being reasonably gentle with me, it's more than I deserve. You've given me a lot to think about," he finished contritely.

He strolled back to the table, and sat down with a pensive expression on his face. Lee had changed dramatically over the years she mused, maybe Joe could too? For their sons' sake, she hoped that he would.


End file.
